Parents

[got10]

So my parents are not letting me get a black and white tegu. I have the job, can pay for all of the expenses, have the space.... If it were for these circumstances i would respect their decision. BUT the reason they are not letting me get one is for the sole fact that they are scared of one.. They are literally scared that it will get out of his enclosure at night and attack them or something.. This is completely irrational and i don't even think if he got out his initial thinking would be to attack the first thing he sees.... like i said i would ultimately respect their decision but i just feel so disappointed that the reason i will not be getting one of these great animals is because of their completely ridiculous fear of one.. how can i change their minds?

Its their house . Move into your OWN place . And I mean a house not an apartment So that way you have to answer to no one but yourself. THAT should close the whole situation for you since YOU seem to have all the answers.

 

[TegusRawsome80]

We should add a "like" option to these forums lol.

 

[fox020708]

Wow.. lol what a harsh thread

 

[TegusRawsome80]

Hahaha really right now? How is this harsh?

 

[fox020708]

just a lot of fighting for a reptile forum

 

[TegusRawsome80]

I don't think anyone's fighting, so much as responding but okay. No one's swearing or anything. Compared to some threads this one is very nice.

 

[glk832]

Why all the hostility? All people are try to do is HELP you convince your parents on how to allow you to obtain and house a tegu. And since everyone here started out WITHOUT one ,before they HAD one. They would be the ones to know how to GET one into a home. God gave you one mouth and two ears for a reason ,to talk half as much as you listen.

Lol I like that's

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Lol man ive read all the post and guys remember dude is 17 lol he still has growing to do.... Coming from a house hold similar bro I understand tha situation..... As a parent now I understand your parents too... Best thing I did was move out WHEN I WAS READY....Tha money you have now will go toward food rent light clothes a lot of other things beside animals and tegus are not cheap..... Just weigh all your opinions and remember tegus will still be here in a yr or two if your not ready yet.... Trust me im about 7 yrs your senior... I wish I listened more when I was your age and thought things through to the fullest .

 

[laurarfl]

It's a rhetorical question, not a question he has to lay an answer out to the forum. But it is a good question(s). And it isn't confrontational.

 

[chelvis]

I doubt this will get read because I am sure the OP is done but I got some advice that may work. When I was 15 is when my attention started to move away from geckos and onto larger reptiles, first with an ackie monitor and then a plated lizard. They were nothing huge so my mom didn't mind but they were larger and needed more space than anything before. When I was 16 I started to work outside the house and my breeding operation really took off. I was at the SPCA on day and saw a large monitor being brought into the shelter. I was an Argus monitor with only three legs, some stuck shed and really skinny. The whole shelter staff was scared to death because it was lashing out at everyone. It had been found wondering the streets so they had to do a three day hold on it. I asked the desk clerk what would happen to the monitor in three days. He went to check and he said that the animal would most likely be put down due to its wild nature and because no wildlife center would take it. From looking at it I could tell its main problem was it was hungry, an hungry monitor is a very unhappy monitor. I left my number and info for a hold on the animal and went home.

My mom was 100% against the animal. I did not hind any detail. I told her it was wildish, not tame, very sick, injured and large (the monitor was about 4 feet nose to tail). By the time the three day hold was over, Tripod came home with me to make a full recovery. A year later I did find a nice wildlife center to take tripod who had calmed down a lot.

So what changed me moms mind? How did a 16 year old convince a mom who is more into fluffy pets to allow a 4 foot monster into her house and take up half the garage? Simple I wrote a paper.

I wrote a paper highlighting the care and housing aspect, the feeding bill and cost estimate (i doubled everything because lets face it all animals cost more than one expects) and I wrote out a future plan for the animal. I was going to college and knew that having this animal in the dorm would not be allowed, so a friend of mind that was staying behind offered to come and care for him and I would fly down (on my own dime) to care for him. The paper was about 5 pages in length, it had everything from natural history to personal stories on ownership. My mom was impressed that I cared that much and put that much effort that she allowed me to get the animal, on one condition if it escaped even once it was going back to the shelter. He escaped twice but she never found out so lets keep that on the DL.

Now I did have a sob story of "oh he will die otherwise" and yes I played that hand a lot. Best advice I can give you is do not lie to your parents, try to show your passion for not just tegus but all reptiles. Tripod allowed my mom to see how much I truly care for my reptiles, the geckos she saw more as a money making thing. Even so she took care of my pets when I wa left with the hard choice of sell them or not move on and she was there to take care of them instead. You also have to respect some parents fears. My mom hates, and means hates snakes, so I have never pushed that issue. I am proud to say now after 20 years she will finally go into the reptile house at the zoo and see the snakes in the house. Most importantly do not go behind your parents back, if you have your own place that fine, but you really want your parents to be allies on this not the enemy, after all you are going to be using the household electric for heating and the fridge and freezer for food storage.

I know it can feel unfair sometimes when you are 17 or 18 and everyone is telling you no. Sometimes it is better to wait. I didn't get a tegu for years, I had wanted one scense I first saw one when I was 13, it was not I was 19 living in my own apartment that one finally arrived. Bosco came on Dec 20th, 2006 it had been 6 years of planning and waiting and wanting. I will tell you that 6 years built up loads of emotion that that tegu now recives. I don't think I have ever had a reptile that is more part of my family and life then he has been. So waiting has it advatages, but I agree waiting sucks.

I hope this wasn't too long winded. Keep your chin up and if not this year next year. Best of luck!

 

[Dana C]

I am not emotional over it. But I'm offended to be questioned by someone whether or not I could keep something when they have no idea who i am. that's not why i made the thread. if that were the issue I would have made a thread asking for ideas of what to do with a tegu when going to college. I understand the choices I have of convincing them or waiting until i get my own place. im just asking for help convincing them. i understand his concern but it is not necessary.

It seems to me that your comment should extend to your parents. You want help convincing them to let you have a Tegu. No one here knows your parents either. How does anyone know what their real reasons for not wanting a Tegu in the house are without chatting with them?

I am 63 and just last year began building my collection. I don't have a wife or girlfriend to say "No" and I live very frugally to indulge my love of Lizards. In other words, I have spent and continue to spend a lot of my fixed income on the critters that I love. My life is stable at this point.

You and your parents are moving in a couple of months. Why not wait until the move is behind you and broach the subject when your and their lives are a little less frantic. In other words, cut your folks a break. There will always be Tegus for sale and your life, interests and direction will change after you turn 18. Give yourself a break and chill a bit.

Make the move and then start buying what you will need. Get your caging, lighting and heating put together first. Show you parents that you want to be a serious reptile enthusiast. Buy books and read them where your parents can see you reading. Talk to them about the science, taxonomy, habitat etc. Offer to pay rent when you turn 18. Make sure you have enough money for your own freezer to keep frozen rodents in. Buying in bulk is the only way to make this affordable. I have 400 frozen mice in my freezer. Will your folks be ok with that?

By your standards, I am an old man. I have heard what people, adults and children, inlcuding my own, say they are going to do but don't for a lot of years. Show them, don't tell them. Start with buying the stuff you will need. Visually prove you are serious, and capable of entering the hobby and serious about staying in it. Also talk to your folks about what you plan to do when you move away from home, how you plan to care for your lizard when you are away, how you plan to interaction with your Tegu everyday without fail, how you will abandon part of your social life for your hobby........what, no one told you?

:huh:

 

[laurarfl]

I had to wait until I moved out as well to really build my collection. I wanted all the animals, mom didn't. Now I can have whatever I want and and I built a business around it. Sometimes you just gotta wait. When my kids (16 and 18) want pets, I let them have them if it fits into our house, but sometimes I have to say No. And they have to respect my wishes. When you get on the other side of the fence, it makes more sense.....trust me.

 

[sunflowercake]

I was surprised when I convinced my ultra conservative parents to let me have one.

My issue was that my parents hated reptiles, despite not being afraid of them, because they thought anything cold-blooded was a "useless" pet because it wouldn't love you the same way a cat or dog would.

If your parents feel the same way, maybe it would help to show them how prepared you really are- the last thing they want is for you to fall into a "fad" and then become bored- that means they'd be the ones stuck taking care of a giant lizard.

So, I'm assuming you have a job so you can afford your tegu's appetite lol. Maybe start buying the little necessities- a starter tank (if you're buying a hatchling), the lights, the fixtures. Perhaps even start a savings account and actively move money into it.

Make sure you're staying on top of other priorities, too. For example, my parents saw me spend $500+ on supplies, which I honestly thought I'd be keeping in storage til I moved out. Yet, I kept my grades up and did all my usual chores. Next thing I know, they're telling me I can get one as long as I'm the sole person taking care of it, as long as I stay on top of my college work, and as long as I clean my bedroom and basement, haha.

Really, though. The hardest part is proving to them that you're serious about this commitment. I think it helped when my mother said to me, "You realize those things can live for 15 years, right?" and I replied, "That's why I like them so much, I love the fact that my future kids will be playing with my tegu when he's in his elder years!" Obviously, I'm thinking ahead, and for me their lifespan is a plus.

If all that fails, then start saving up money to move out.
But remember, there is SOME truth in the "parents know best" saying. I begged for a Savannah monitor for years and was never allowed to get one- now I'm thankful my parents said no- it gives me a chance to realize a tegu is a far better match for me in my current state.

 

[laurarfl]

I think that is such an awesome post, sunflowercake!

I have quite a few reptile pets that were given to my by parents whose kids grew tired of them. And the ferrets that one of my daughters wanted so badly are now mine. But my other daughter was dying for an axolotl and cares for it religiously.

Not to say that the OP wouldn't be responsible, but these are the sorts of things that parents think about.